Ray Lelievre

if you allow yourself to be vulnerable- you lose the fear by default

Sometimes the way out of longstanding pains shows after decades. This was the case of Ray who found release from most of his chronic pains after he let go of his fears and learned that all the diagnoses he got were just TMS related to emotions. In his eighties, he still  experience occasional pains but as he testifies 90% of his stubborn pains vanished.

It all started at : 

it all started with inflammation of the knees and a back that "went out" and I was laid up for the Christmas season in 1962, I was diagnosed with an abnormal curvature of the spine due to a juvenile injury from when I was 16. I then wore a knee brace on both knees for work.around 29 years old, I started drinking a lot and some drugs. I played a lot of cards, sitting a lot and getting fat and adopting a lifestyle not contusive to good health. My back started bothering me and was diagnosed with RA.

Main symptoms were: 

I was ridden with fear, guilt and my emotions were all over the place. My chronic pain I say really started there. I also suffered many bad headaches from my guilt I think.

I tried these modalities but they did not cure me: 

I was under the care of chiropractors and took so many medications, painkillers such as oxycodone and nsaids i also took  Gabapentin,  artificial THC, medical marihuana, hydromorphone, all to no avail. After 2 years of all this, I flushed about 120 oxies down the toilet and went cold turkey with withdrawl issues. I am amazed my liver stood up to it all.

Dark night of the soul: 

I actually wanted to die several times. I prayed for God to take me.

Change in the plot: 

Then about a year and a half ago, I came upon and article by Dr. Sarno. I was taken by his idea of mind over body. I really had a hard time dealing with the idea that the medical doctors were giving me misinformation about pain and how there was really nothing wrong with my back and it was my well-intentioned mind that was at the root of all of the pain. it was so vivid to me that all my pains were caused by fearm guilt and anxiety.

The doom of the past versus the glory of my present life: 

i still take ocassionaly tylenol for the wrist pain- but 90% of my pains i used to have are gone!

My relationship to pain: 

Pain and fears are strongly connected. i am not afraid of pain any more. i lost my fear. and with it went most of the pain. for example,  I suffered of chronic cluster headaches 5 to 8 times a day for about 9 months. It was hell!! I was hospitalized, given several medications but noting worked. It was not until I completed the 4th and 5th steps of AA's 12 steps that they disappeared. I know now more than then how emotions and fears are the root of many problems in cluding chronic pain. When now i experience some pains here and there, i dismiss it by telling my brain: "it's just TMS"!  my inner self talk is : never let fear control your life. be the captain of your own ship.

My best advice to fellow sufferers of chronic conditions: 

Begin dealing with youself in 3 ways. Body Mind and Spirit. My Spirit has been and will always be the source of my strength. My Spirit must be the power to overcome my well-intentioned sub-conscious mind and thereby heal my body. That's it!! I became willing to accept a "Higher Power" and turn my life over to it. that is the 2nd and 3rd step of recovery. the first step is admitting I was powerless over my life and could not manage it alone.

if you allow yourself to be vulnerable- you lose the fear by default